back to basics

So yesterday I started a new workout regime. Rippetoe's Starting Strength training program, designed for lifting and bodybuilding noobs - focusing on several central exercises - squats, bench, dead-lifts and pull-ups. Seems quite simple, no real isolation exercises and generally, the workout is done in less than 45 minutes. But here's the lesson I've learnt progressively at the gym. Its not about the weight, its all about form. Its not about the intensity, but the intention.

I had a strange encounter this morning. Woken up by my beautiful girlfriend calling to say good morning, I lay in bed, 5:45am, trying to get back to sleep for an extra hour. In that moment there was a strange resounding in my spirit - How great is our God, My heart will sing, How great is our God. What felt like only a few moments later I entered a strange ... trance ... if you want to call it that (sounds like drugs lol). I felt the invisible yet very tangible presence of God enter my room, sit by my bed as I lay and touch me saying, "I'm proud of you son". Just like that, it was gone.

I thought it was a dream but I was wide awake. But the past two days have shown me this - get the basics right. You can't do crazy isolation dumbbell curls unless your core strength and supporting muscles are strong enough to allow you to do so. In the same way, how can we as people of faith do anything without living in and acknowledging the presence of God? It is the most fundamental and foundational aspects of our faith. We can't teach, we can't preach, we can't evangelise and we most certainly cannot lead without knowing His presence.

Off to work.



"You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." - Psalm 16:11

my heritage

Possibly one of the most life altering revelations I've had is realising the intense blessing that falls on my life. As my friends around me understand the same revelation though their blessings are different, the response though, is usually similar. Gratitude and thanksgiving, joy and peace, love and worship.

We've had the topic of generational blessing and curses come up in our studies and discussions. I've seen the fruits in my life, both positive and negative. I have no doubt that there is a generational transference, though not deliberate, which inevitably takes hold of our lives. Unless we are aware of our heritage, we cannot break the curse or increase the anointing.

My question though is, what will be my heritage? Surely I have received a level of supernatural and unmerited favour for ministry and the work of God, but how will I further that anointing for generations to come? How about my struggles, could they have repercussions decades later?

In being honest with dad two weeks ago, I shared with him my struggles with sin and temptation. He cried and as we continued to talk he spoke of how his experiences as a young man were very similar. Dad was adamant that my struggle was further perpetuated by the fact that he did not break the curse in his time. I walked away touched by my dad's honesty and heart but slightly disbelieving, deciding that my situation was my choice, my creation and my doing. As the thoughts shift and rearrange themselves and I reflect - if I'm more than willing to accept the portion that falls upon my life - a heart for the Lord, an anointing for ministry and Godly principles and beliefs, then I must be aware of the chains that I bear by being my father's (or my mothers) son.

If my father's choices over 40 years ago could have implications upon my life, how much will my choices now and tomorrow, influence generations?

It scares me. But I also find great joy knowing that those I lead and my future family and children will have the portion and blessing which falls on my life fall over theirs too. Not for my family's name sake, or to increase our heritage, but rather to make our inheritance the inheritance of nations - Christ.

"In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you." - 1 Peter 1:3-4

night and day 2

Jousting was probably my highlight of the week. Though I didn't participate (which I regret to a degree), it is always fun seeing something you come up with go down well.

Praise Him for His faithfulness, that though we deliberately try to harm each other, that somehow it generally turns out all well :)

night and day.

Night and day, feels like today and yesterday. Today serves as a stark reminder that though we win battles, the war for our devotion is very much raging still. Let me elaborate.

Yesterday was one of the best days I have spent with the Lord in recent memory. Away from a crowd, separate from the people of the church or my closest and most intimate of friends, I sat, played and even wrote a song in the His presence. Spent some amazing time with Him in the morning, held by His love and wanting to give my all, I put to song the words:

I adore you
I adore you
I adore you
He sings over me

I adore You
I adore You
I adore You
Jesus

All morning the Lord continued to speak to me, telling me to trust Him... He keeps telling me, clearly I'm quite stubborn lol. Then going to work, picking up my gorgeous cousin from the city, taking her home for dinner then going to spend some more time at church. I felt as though I picked up a spirit of fear, at church of all places. A reminder that a church is just a building but The Church is the heart of and for God's people. Following me home, the spirit continued to pester me, whispering thoughts, doubts and deceit into my ears. Fed up, I knelt by my bed prayed then sat upon my bed and begun to rebuke the spirit audibly. Laying in bed and writing to my beautiful girlfriend, the spirit returned to continue to harass me. A little more annoyed I rebuked it again firmly by the blood of Christ and as we believe and expect, the blood of Christ overcame and I was at peace.

Such a day of victory one day so strongly contrasted today. I woke up feeling groggy, dizzy and with a pretty uncool headache. So I called in sick. I hope my boss isn't too unimpressed considering it is only my 2nd week lol.

So I just stayed home watched SWAT and where I found it easy to battle with and overcome a spirit of fear, what I succumbed to was simply my own foolishness and lustful desire. I slept the rest of the day, still feeling disgusting both in the physical and in the spirit here I am, writing and reading the Word.

I'm reminded of Psalm 92, particularly verse 2 which I quote regularly.

"It is good to praise the LORD and make music to your name, O Most High, to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night"- Psalm 92:1-2

I usually only apply this to literal days. Though tonight I see further, to proclaim His love in the morning, is of course so critical. To involve proclaiming love at the start, at the dawn of each new endeavor, ministry or effort prepares our hearts and reminds us of the focus we need to keep and the motivation which drives us.

But to proclaim His faithfulness in the night - when you're tired, sleepy and worn out; that is just as much a challenge if not greater than the proclamation of love. But He is good, He is faithful, He does not forget His promises but only forgets my sins. Hallelujah.

"For I will forgive their wickedness and I will remember their sins no more" - Jeremiah 31:34
"As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us" - Psalm 103:12

deep, high, wide

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."- Ephesians 3:17-19

Our good friend the Bishop said this, "You can get saved, by you're not set free". Its called Stockholm Syndrome, even though we may be saved from a crippling situation, we choose still to defend and identify that which we have been delivered from; thus living saved, but still captive.

welcome to struggletown.

Today's bible lesson was entitled - 'What the flip do I do when God doesn't answer me'. Cleverly disguised as teaching for ten or so young people, today's lesson was truly my selfish attempt to preach to myself.

It's so easy to get caught up in the emotion of a crowd; to be swept away by the overwhelming emotion of a mass, yet in the secret place comes a deeper intimacy, one which we live for yet few find. This perhaps has been the loneliest weeks I can remember. You don't realise how much you rely upon someone for strength until you try to stand on your own two feet.

And then comes the lesson - TRUST HIM. Throughout the past three weeks of my life is this gargantuan whisper resonates in my spirit. Inescapable, this whisper overcomes every attempt to drown out its sound. Though He speaks in small still whispers, I forget that it is HIS WORD, the same Word that created, shaped, planned and saved my life. Amazingly God is not phased, not even stressed by what is to me, an insurmountable obstacle. 9 sleeps and I can have my best friend back, but how much have I changed? I pray the difference will be night and day.

I've found a new and caring friend recently. Completely unlikely, random and unexpected but I believe it's all for a reason. 

He doesn't even know it but he's changed my life. No I'm not talking about God... though God does love and care for me and has changed my life :) He's a friend that I've just begun to think and pray for and I expect soon, I'll be able to lead him to Christ.

This is my prayer for him:

Lord lead him and guide him
Reveal to his spirit the grace which I see and live in
So that he can someday, somehow, love You as you love him
Amen.

Plain and simply, he is our accuser. Bringing up everything we've done, digging up the past and reminding us of what God has already forgotten. That's his MO - to accuse.

The only way we overcome accusations is to know and live in the Truth. Simple as that, black and white, truth and lie.

In Revelation 12 we get a picture of Satan standing before the Father and accusing. But the one who sits at the Father's right side is far greater than he who stands accusing.

Simply put here's how I see it - unless your thoughts lead to God's glory or Christ becoming greater in your life through grace, then its a lie :)

The dialogue in my spirit this past week:

I adore you

I adore you

Son, I adore you

I adore you

I adore you

Jesus, I adore you

I was only recently bought to this place of adoration with Him. It's a place not about tears, emotion, hype or even circumstance. It is a place of the deepest love, greater than anything I have found in my short 22 years. These words are not proclaimed, shouted or even spoken. They are whispered in the quietest of times when my soul is at rest and my heart set on Him.

why oh why?

Several reasons I guess. Not the least of which is to share my walk with my Saviour.

This is something that I need - an outlet to convey my thoughts, ones which I usually struggle to or rarely get the opportunity to share. This is not about church or work or our youth group or anything. Just me and Him. That's all it's really about.


Colossians 3:11 - "Christ is all, and is in all".