We all think we know what we want. Success, acknowledgment or perhaps fame. Maybe you wanted to be a fireman or a magician. Maybe you still want to. But what do we really want?

I'm a firm believer in man's innate desire to know God. We were made to share in communion with our God, to wander the garden together and to converse freely, without the wall of sin. Though millennia of sin and shortcoming have separated man, somewhere in the depths of our spirits, we desire and thirst for an encounter with Someone greater than ourselves. Truly, when it is all stripped away, our longings, our yearnings and our innermost cries are to know a God who loves, cherishes, adores and holds us.

David writes in Psalm 139 - "Lord... you know me". He goes on to say that there is no rising or falling, no word spoken or intention of the heart that God does not see. Deeply, God knows our most basic needs for He formed us, therefore He knows us. Sadly we do not always know Him in the same way.

Our human need is to know him. Our condition causes us to require more than just human validation. Our flesh groans (Romans 8:26) beyond what we are aware, for God to captivate every layer and barrier we have built up. We cry for a God to break down our walls through love and grace. All we really want, is Him.

We just won't admit it.

Faith, BJJ and Life

No one activity in life is an island. Essentially we exist, by the links which tie our every action together. Whether passing the guard or brushing your teeth everything is connected. Could jiu-jitsu speak into my life? Certainly. Can it speak into my faith? Definately.

This may sound like an exaggeration. It could come across as an attempt by a fairy-minded youth leader to over-spiritualise what some perceive as 'gay' and 'awkward'. But you don't know like I know.

A few of the boys at youth tonight rolled around, something we haven't done together in a while. "It hurts so good", we agreed. There is nothing like testing yourself to your physical limit, being pushed to that point of submit or pass out. This reminded me what I loved about jiu-jitsu all along. It's founding principle is this - that with skill, technique and persistence, a weaker, smaller man can outsmart and overwhelm even the strongest of opponents. In jiu-jitsu there are no situations that are completely unavoidable. The studious and persistent will always find a way whilst the ignorant will be trapped and tapped out.

That feeling of being choked to the point of almost passing out is both frightening and inspiring. Those with heart will be inspired to learn - how can I escape, how can I reverse, how can I overcome? Beautifully, jiu-jitsu is not a sport for naturally athletic freak but is the art for the everyman. "Hard work and dedication. That's all it takes" (said Todd Duffee - now cut from the UFC lol).

God will use anything. He will use the death of a brother and then raise him from the dead to show his sovereignty to two sisters. He used two planks of wood to display love through death. He used the weak, uneducated and the destitute to transform the world (think of the disciples - for every strength each had, they had just as many if not more flaws). So why wouldn't God use a Japanese science of self defense, taught to a Brazilian business family, to teach me about the necessity of perseverance and persistence?

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." - James 1:2-4

We endure trials on a daily basis and often it becomes too tiring and we lose the passion to learn more. We lose the drive to learn the escapes, study the submissions and master the reversals. Praise God we have a Teacher, a Counselor, a Helper and a Comforter dwelling within us. For the testing develops perseverance and "perseverance, character and character, hope" - Romans 5:4.

Thanks to Mark, Peter and Minh for being in a position where God could use you. Praise the Lord that He uses all aspects of life, whether by the Word or grappling, to make me a better man.

the mysterious

The apostle Paul describes our walk with God as a mystery (he mentions it several times in Ephesians).

It seems to me that the more you know, the more you don't know. He gives us what we can only barely handle; only what our minds can take hold of - and then He blitzes the mind, blowing it into a million pieces and we're left feeling, understandably, like our minds have been obliterated by the magnitude of the Glory of God.

Revelation must then be paired with faith. For as much as we know, there surely is more that we cannot comprehend. Certainty hand in hand with uncertainty, the concrete act of God and the invisible nature of His presence, knowing completely and yet still knowing nothing.

So is the conundrum of our faith. Understanding it would seem, must be accompanied by mystery.

This is either extremely frustrating to me or completely captivating. I can't figure it out - but praise God because He knows exactly what we need.